Day 17 of May is for Metta 2012: Loving-kindness Practice for a Difficult Person


We are now more than half way through May is for Metta 2012.  I hope you are enjoying exploring Metta meditation and cultivating more loving-kindness and compassion in your life and in the world.  As we continue with our practice over the next two weeks, we will be bringing together various aspects of the practice as well as continuing to deepen in generating loving-kindness for ourselves, others and the world.

Whether you are practicing daily or just dropping in from time to time, I hope you will join us next week.  I am excited to announce that I have designated:

Monday, May 21  –  Friday, May 25

Take Your Metta (Loving-kindness) To Work Week 

As many of you know, a major aspect of my work is supporting organizations and individuals in developing a heart centered and mindful way of being.  During this week, we will continue our practice and apply it to our experiences in the workplace.  This will help us to explore how we can apply our personal practice to our daily lives.  Also, our intention will be to support shifting our organizations and work communities into a new paradigm based on living from the heart.  Although we need to use our mind and logic in our work, it is now a time when allowing our heart to emerge fully in all areas of life is important.  Learning to access our deeper wisdom and our intuitive guidance supports taking our work and our world into a place of collaboration rather than competition.  I hope you will join us in this exploration of bringing more loving-kindness, compassion and mindfulness to the world of work.

I thank all of you for participating with me in this journey of Metta.  Our virtual Sangha or community is worldwide; the loving-kindness and compassion we are generating is universal!

Day 17

“Hatred can never cease by hatred.

Hatred can only cease by love.

This is an eternal law.”

– Buddha

Today, we will continue our practice of Metta for the category of a Difficult person.  Consider someone who you have a deeper degree of difficulty with but not the most severe of challenges.  Perhaps, there is an ongoing situation, which you cannot change outwardly.  Maybe, yesterday or even today, you had an interaction that is causing you frustration, annoyance, or anger.  Perhaps your mind is not able to let go of something or someone.   Metta offers an opportunity to work with what is arising in the moment and in our daily experience.  We can utilize our practice to assist in transforming our attitude from the negative to the positive in any given moment.

Daily Practice:  Do your foundational practices.  Get comfortable and settle into your breath.  Spend a few moments centering on your heart.  Imagine yourself sitting in your circle of loving beings.  Allow yourself to absorb the energy of loving-kindness and compassion into your heart and into every atom and cell of your being.  Begin to send Metta to yourself by using the phrases you have been working with:

  • May I be happy.
  • May I be peaceful.
  • May I be free from suffering.
  • May I have ease of well-being.

When you feel immersed in loving-kindness, bring an image of the Difficult person you will work with into your awareness.  Begin by saying to yourself, “Just as I wish to be peaceful and free from suffering, may you also find inner peace and calm.”  Then, repeat the phrases while holding the image of the Difficult person in your mind:

  • May you be happy.
  • May you be peaceful.
  • May you be free from suffering.
  • May you have ease of well-being.

If you struggle sending loving-kindness to your Difficult person, you may wish to imagine them as vulnerable.  Perhaps as a helpless infant or someone who is on their death-bed.  Allow yourself to feel their fragility rather than their harshness, which is a trigger for you.  Allow yourself to feel this being’s humanness.  Remember that they, too, are suffering in some way.

Accept the feelings that arise for you and let them move through.  You may feel anger, frustration, sadness or grief; just let it flow.  If at any point, the feelings become overwhelming, switch back to practicing for your self.  You may wish to ask yourself, “Who is the one suffering from this anger or sadness?”  You are the one who is holding onto this feeling, the other person has most likely moved on.  Begin to let these emotions go to ease your own heart.  When you feel ready, return your practice to the difficult person until you feel complete.

Finish your practice by returning to your heart center or circle of loving beings.  Offer a few rounds of phrases for your self for your willingness to be present and work with difficult feelings and resistance.  When you are complete with your practice, take a few moments to dedicate the merit for the benefit of all who are suffering, yourself and your Difficult person included.  Use the words that feel right to you.

Journal Notes:  What are you noticing about practicing Metta for a Difficult person?  Was it any different today?  Are you able to let go of difficult feelings that you are holding onto?  If so, how does that feel?  If not, why are you still holding on? How is practicing Metta affecting your daily life?

May you have a day filled with inner peace and calm.

Extra Credit: Watch Transforming Anger Into Loving-Kindness ~ A Teaching by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche


About Beth Terrence

Beth Terrence is a Shaman, Facilitator, Holistic Practitioner, Speaker and Writer. With over seventeen years of experience in field of transformation and holistic health, she is a leader in providing Integrative Transformational Healing Programs For Individuals, Groups & Organization. The focus of Beth's work is to facilitate deep transformational healing, assisting her clients in living a more heart-centered, balanced and joyful life through discovering the healer within. Beth offers online transformational resources through her blog, The Heart of Awakening: Searching for a New Paradigm. She is also an author and facilitator for Heal My Voice, an international organization that helps women to heal, grow and step into greater leadership through writing and sharing their stories. To learn more about sessions, programs, teleseminars and other news, visit

2 responses »

  1. I hope we can continue our “metta” practice after day 31. I would be willing to establish a new month goal or however you might see it Beth to keep this flow of heart going.
    May all of the group encounter a moment today or tomorrow wherein an acute awareness of how love really does transform our existance, a heart at a time.

    • I have some possibilities I will be sharing next week so our community can continue to support one another. Loving your wish for all of us. Thanks for sharing your warm and generous heart.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s